The game

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” Rose Kennedy.

I couldn’t believe there before my eyes tangled in my favourite sheets …
With lust in their eyes and … Pure passion for what they were doing lay my bestfriend and my guy . I couldn’t comprehend the sight with all the moaning and … What have you that was going on

Meet *Louis the man I have been dating and  saw myself tying the knot and settling down . It had been 3 steady years now and he was down to us settling down .He’d introduced me to his friends and I had already seen this as a step forward . Plus of late he’d been acting weird and was aloof and I thought it was jitters  because he was to propose or so I thought

Well I’ve never been so wrong …😖😖😖😖

Meet *Lee my bestfriend since kindergarten . I shared my lunch  with her on our first day of school and  immediately we became bestfriends .  Dating  back and since she was one of the few humans who knew me so well I didn’t expect such betrayal from her … With my man.

So there I stood , no tears , no movement, nothing … Just seeing them so into each other they didn’t even notice the ‘voyager’ in the room . I was hurt . This was utter betrayal . I wondered how all this happened with my bestfriend and my guy always at odds with  each other …..

I basically treasured this people and they betray me like this . I poured my heart out to my bestfriend about how my guy was  dodgy and she was all calm abd affirmed its normal for dudes to behave like that . I even shared how I thought he was going to propose and she agreed though I couldn’t see through her … She was two faced that one .

I guess that’s the game nowadays. Don’t wait for betrayal from guys away from you cause it happens from the closest ones …. I don’t loathe …. Or hate them . I just know better . I built walls higher than the China wall ….and so far its worked wonders

With friends like this who needs an enemy.Now I look back I’m grateful that I caught him in the act what would I have done had I married him? Some change is surely good and though it hurt I eventually got over it and changed my circles .

My soul responding

Say you are in a fix and since you dont want to lose someone or hurt someone’s feelings and maybe in the process get yours hurt too, so you hold your silence for God knows how long. And now your thinking what does she know??? Life is hard as it is . Do you need that promotion ? Or is it that cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it; he hasn’t given you the time of day because you haven’t given him the time of day either.

In life, you have to communicate. And oftentimes, you have to take the first step for anything to happen .You have to tell people what you’re thinking . No one’s an angel to decipher your thoughts .And you will likely be pleasantly surprised when you do, because most people love straightforward people – it makes life ten times easier.

And most times that not they may agree with you or maybe not . But you have it off your chest and you’ll feel lighter , better and maybe happier . It might not go how you’d want , you might get rejected but guess what, its off your chest and theres no ‘what if’ moments …and that’s what matters . Your heart is less heavier .

Maybe its that girl who looks stunningly gorgeous in that emerald dress . Or its your professor try complimenting him but if he’s the cranky type please try and reconsider.
Thank that uber driver that dropped you at the entrance of that new joint in town . Compliment that girl at the corner of your class , who always seems to be lost in her own world . Say hi to the cashier at the register . Smile at a stranger. Help carry an old ladies luggage to her station.Ask that waiter whose always picking your order hows their day so far and if your bold enough ask them to surprise you with a meal of their choosing.Speak your mind out when your girlfriends always want to talk about boys and whose gotten fat and dumped from highschool. Tell him as often you love his beard . 😝😝😝 . Just try it.

You might make someone’s day brighter .Also you might surprise yourself .

Be yourself

Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate.  Never stoop yourself down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self so as to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest Glory – your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as “YOU” is not Your world

Just be yourself and one day you will find someone who loves you for everything you are, flaws or no flaws.

They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.

There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as a King  or a Queen by just being yourself. Find that world… In fact, that world will find You…. Just drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a “Masterpiece”. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it.

 

Dear Brian

Dear Brian
Hi , I dunno if there’s mail where you are but I hope you get this. It’s from the bottom of my heart, since I heard too late you had left the world of the living . Is it fancy there? Comfy towels? Long hot baths in a jacuzzi ? Free WiFi ? Endless supply of food?? Is there room service?? I hope you found someone like you, there? Who I’m I kidding ,ofcourse they’re are .Do you have wings now ,or is it top secret?
I still remember the letters you slid across our shared desks like a ninja° [so you won’t get caught passing notes 🙈] when we were in preschool . Confessing your love for my pigtails and my toothy grin. I remember those little notes with that ugly handwriting that you left in my book over break , I knew it was you … I was watching you . I remember how awesome you were,giving me a slice of your PBJ sandwich . I always finished mine without sharing or caring… That’s weird ,did you fancy girls that eat much or was it just me. See,currently girls don’t eat they’re on stupid diets😒. They eat grass.😜😜😝😝😝😝
I was the envy of the class. Did you see how that Annie gave me that death stare? And how you’d bribe the prefect to get me off the noisemakers list 🙆😝😝😝. Need I say more . You were awesome

I never got to say thankyou not necessarily for doing all those good things for me but being among the few good humans I’ve met since. I got to meet up with Dee his grown now and an engineer .Can’t imagine he was the short one in class now he’s taller and built😱 . He told me how you warned all the boys not to talk to me or glance at me, touch me or breathe my air😜😜😜😜( abit extreme… Eeeey!) I always wondered why no boys made moves on me 😸😸. {For a moment then ,I thought I was ugly}
Don’t you think the pact was overboard though saying ,you’ll marry me (PS: we didn’t even go on one date) . Oh! And those toy rings I found mine while I was moving .
How time flies . Im sorry I couldn’t be there. I’m sorry I didnt love you back . I’m sorry you left soo soon without us catching up. If I could turn back time , I would thankyou … And maybe squeeze in a date for old times sake and for being a gentleman . Tell you what, you left a mark because currently chivalry is dead. So you’re more like the Martin Luther of gentleman-ship.

Don’t forget to write me back . If you’ve got advanced technology I’m open to mind reading opportunities too. Or maybe teleportation .If so get me a dress and stupidly ugly heels 😛

Yours truly
A.

My Firsts

My first ;
Bestfriend- Cheby … You were the dream girl for me 😝😝😝😝😋. With your cheeky remarks 💪
Heartbreak – when he moved and didn’t leave an address.
Party – it was a pool party and every one was in bikinis and trunks and I was in a corner with a book in hand and music blasting from my phone . I’m weird riiight !
Event – a charity one
Love – my ever amazing young love
Time out past my bedtime curfew – 😮😮😮 (Alma this list will get me killed)
Kiss – 😤😤😤😤my mom reads this blog 😦
Road trip – with my bestfriend
Hike – my actual one that I ever hacked and managed was ngo’ng hills 😣. I discovered I’m not fit just skinny.
Funkie ( function)- to a CU( Christian union) something that was the last time I went to a neighbouring school for entertainment minus … Symposiums and games and club ones 😛
Job- sworn protector of my little sister
Meal – plain rice .
Laundry attempts – grade 4 I tried to be that hardworking daughter tried to wash my dad’s shirts and they didn’t make it past the lines 😨😨😨😨😰my mom was proud though.
Shoes ( ones I could buy myself) – 😊😂😂😂😂 pass!
Lipstick – after highschool before I thought they were stupid .
Bag- it was those rat/bunny- ish little girls love .
Thrifting experience- well I was so innocent and couldn’t pull a piece of clothing from another womans hands. This days I spot it and I must have it unless it doesnt fit😂😂😂😂😂.
Camp out – with my church or was it school can’t place the party involved.
Pulling an all nighter – the first time I had a nightmare where the roach wanted to bite off my head and I never closed my eyes in fear of what lays in the dark or under the bed
To a club – I didn’t like it , some ugly guy put his hand on my thigh and his breath stunk .That was my last time
Date- does pretend games count 😜😜😜😜
Phone – earlier that I should have😓😓😓
Love triangle- still when I was 8 years the guy I loved was the muse to my bestfriend and I was too selfish to give him up.
Love letter – when I was 8…
Game of truth or dare – hahaha you wouldn’t believe me .
Girl crush – my first !!!! I can’t remember …but I crush on every independent lady doing her thing and doing it well.#Queening
Fight – over my body appearance , my dark cloud that i carried everywhere, how much I eat for a girl and my don’t care attitude. Oh and also because at this point boys didn’t phase me as much as the rest of the girls in my class.
Rebel stunt – my mom will disagree with any answer I give here . But there was this time I actually had beef with my religion teacher … My last year in highschool .
Game of charades- in highschool and I kicked some serious butt.
Smoke – Does during a party count
I kissed a girl- it was a dare 💁
Crush – He was apparently in love with me all through. If only I spoke up 😞we’d be happily sailing through Cuba😒

 

A little mixed up

“You sure that’s it?” “Yeah I’m sure Maddie and I are just best buddies☺”
I dunno who I was trying to convince and as I took a swig of my beer . I knew I was only trying to convince myself . The boys could tell I was smitten . My bestfriend (dude)warned me too.

I knew I found her to be interesting but I didn’t think it would be like this . My first pointers were when we took this road trip and as she let her kinky hair get swayed by the wind with my T-shirt on and nude shorts. I couldn’t tell what was happening to my senses when it came to this girl.

We had this travelling interest… I think this is what brought us closest. Plus bonus points she was smart ,had a witty humour ,could dress up if she wanted to ,amazing body to pair with her bombshell personality . Did I mention her nose and the most prettiest of eyes. Sometimes I get lost in them when she’s trying to prove a point or talk about on any topic she’s passionate about. The way she flings those flimsy hands and how her behind looks killer in them jeans. Then she laughs at a joke she’s made and I realise too late I missed it and she caught me ogling . Busted!!!

So confidently she asks if her bum had grown and turns around . God why hadn’t I found her before the man, she’s with with right now. And as she modelled across the verandah . Did I mention her height 😊😍. I knew I was in love with my bestfriend .

I planned a hike of some sorts to finally pour my heart out . I’d been calculating for days how to say this ,knowing she’s deeply in love with her current man . But I was ready to take my chances even if she didn’t exactly feel the same way too. She makes it to my place while I’m stuffing my face and heads for my bed as if she’s been leaving here . She’s in a black vest and blue pair of jeans that she’s rolled up a bit and black low cut sneakers .

We head out and I spot a large mass of water and chose that’s our destination .I help her a couple of times on the rocky areas and the rest being the independent lady she is she does it by herself . Then we got there and guess the first thing she does … She gets rid of her sneakers ,flings her vest off her upper body and lowers her jeans and then tiptoes to the edge of the water and tests how deeper it is until she dissapears . she’s crazy that one . She says she loves this more than pools . It’s like our exclusive swimming pool. Her words!!!

And as she veers off to dry up … I couldn’t help but think how I’d give my whole world just to have a girl like her . But what if I’d hurt her? I couldn’t tell her . I wouldn’t . That would change us , wouldn’t it ??? So I shushed .

Tweedlee Tweedlum

Never explain yourself to anyone. Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it and the person who doesn’t like you won’t believe it…

I don’t get him. I seriously dont . Its Pete again and his acting up . What does he want from me ? I mean you give and give and give. Take all the blame and then where does that leave you ??? Hurt! Bruised! Wrong it leaves you dead 💀

You overlook the lies. Oh I forgot … Pete is a man once dated . I mean his got the looks , hardworking nature ,a go getter and all that women such for , but he can be such a chauvinistic bastard. 💁

So I overlook all the lies and I try to convince myself its him trying to really impress me . When in real sense I don’t need that … I was all along smitten and bleeding love . The thing about his lies his always overdoing it and where there’s two parties he could switch positions and tell me… The favourable side of the story .

Then the pangs of jealousy kicked in. He’s always breathing on my shoulder on whoever I’m texting or getting calls from. He would constantly rummage through my bag searching for clues. He would get pissed if I’m all dressed up and he wasn’t there 😿😿😿.He would get soooo pissed at the selfies I’d take with other men .

And then one night at his place . I’m all for a very interesting night …. So I’m all dressed up and he comes home all drunk and accusses me of cheating and starts battering me .Throwing kicks .And as I lay there I couldn’t help but thank God that isn’t the man that I tied the knot to and I smiled😉

 

Senator’s Daughter

I fell in love with a man whom from day one I knew he wasn’t mine. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me back … He did ! Or did he ?? I can’t tell right now because I’m in tears and I can’t comprehend what happened between us.
Tell me if I was wrong to put myself out there and get burnt like this . I opened myself up ,gave myself wholly just to be what he wanted.
I know I expected too much being a public figure of sorts … But I hate all that attention and you could never know whose real or not . Until i met him and I couldn’t believe how down to earth he was.
Papa was up the dias giving his speech to his people and I was seated there acting interested and so I found a new game . Survey the crowd and imagine how their lives are?? Say … Him in a blue T-shirt … He looks sooo tired ,he might work in a factory 👷. The guy in a suit👔 … He must have borrowed that … Since its so huuuuuge at the shoulder blades and he looks as though he doesn’t want anyone to ruin it .
And then my eyes landed on him and I couldn’t stop staring . He didn’t look like he belonged in that crowd . He listened ,I stared… Creepy but I couldn’t help it.Suddenly people laughed and I didn’t miss the way he threw his head back as he laughed . Papa must have said a funny remark .

And then the most weird thing happened , he stared right at me . To say the least ; the butterflies in my tummy erupted and I was sure if I wasn’t a deep shade of red ,then it had to be somewhat close . I’ve never felt like that … Even from Adam my bestfriend whom my family and his want us to get married.😕😕😕😑 Keeping the family ties alive 😬.

I dunno how we met after because the security guards hover around Me … Everytime I make a move and I have to inhale the air from their 😆😯😯😯😯.
(Get your mind out of the gutter😂😂😂)…. Their suits 😊😊😊.
But now I look back and I’m thinking was it worth it ? Does he love me enough to get humiliated ? Does he love me enough as he claims ? If I lose him ,could I learn to love Adam like that? I know we can’t get married until papa approves.What if he doesn’t ace my family’s test at tonight’s dinner? I hope his got his cutlery skills on fleek, does he? I love him. I really do and I hope my family does as well.
The dilemmas of a senators daughter😢😢😢😢

Soul Recharge!!

If this is love
Then I want it everyday
Like a dove
I need this drug
Never unfailing
It caresses my ear
Nurses me to sleep
Makes me row my boat
Of this sickening life
With a smile on my face
Every morning glad
To be awake
To see what you have
In store for me
You amaze me
With your wonders
That never coaseth to end
Like an overflowing river
Bursting its bank
So its with the
Joy bestowed unto thee!!

No Fetishes👅

Life is weird
I’m weird
And its for you too
Figure and study them
Life can be unfair
Its for you to learn
The strips to hang on
Life can be a downfall
Thrashing its water on
A cleft – that’s you
It hits you hard
Its upon you to rise up
Shake the dust and walk on
If you let it put you down
You will be
Like me – a boredom
But mmmh don’t get me
Wrong …!! I can be
Entertaining when I want
Depending on how life is
Life is the sweetest thing
If you take it positively