All I want for Christmas 🎄

Christmas concept was distorted . In place of celebrating Christ … Beers were brought ,cans opened … Morals were let loose …that innocent thenge(goat ) died without writing it’s will and saying goodbye to its two wives and its seven kids … Or that huge cock …blood smudged everywhere … It never got to get to the uni and it was the hope for the brood, where our appetites grow twice as much than our hearts to give …. We fail in sharing the joy that comes with sharing the good news about our saviour’s birth .
He chose to come as a kid ( the most  humble form )….. Not a king who’d come with so much power and glory that he’d blind us and even superman would feel so ashamed and batman would probably run for the hills because obviously they ain’t heroes enough.

See that kid whose always in tatters ,whom you pass while going to work why don’t you pimp his wardrobe abit with even the shirt your son says its too “old” to wear and see his smile beat the stars that shine in the night . See that creepy guy who never leaves his home and you think inside his house they’re all this gooey stuff … Why don’t you invite him over and show him what Christmas is all about. See that watchman whose always got your security covered 24/7 why don’t you appreciate him.Its the little things we do that even Christ at his thrown smiles and is sure we’ve not entirely made his birth about presents and making merry

This Christmas though ( its my birthday too🙈) I chose to remember those who are special and have made our lives better — be it that guard who gave me directions when I was stranded ,the stranger that smiled at me on a day I couldn’t make sure out exactly what was happening , my mama and papa who make sure they deal with everything involving me …. My siblings who have to soak it all in and deal with me 😰😰😰 … Half of my heart ( K.K) who strives to make everyday great for me … Moe aka babe … Whose been just the magical creature 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 ,my incredible but stupid cousins ,the strangers who’ve become friends( Ron,Hashu,Jay,Brian ,Cosy,Marley… The list goes on ) …. My awesome bestfriends from all walks of life that are in sync with me …. My grandmas and grandpa 😊😊😊😊… My secret admirer … I feel you too … To all the amazing humans who lubricated 2017 for me …. Its been a smooth transition …. Oh not forgetting my dance partner 🙈

I choose to remember all little girls without father’s . I think I derive most of my confidence from the way my dad has raised me ….. With everything in place morals, values ,principles and faith in check …. I dunno what I’d do without him. But every girl needs a father and see even though the earthly one ain’t present … Maybe his a jerk who didn’t take his responsibility or he died or unknown . There’s the heavenly father and He’s always watching ,always providing through amazing humans. And he never sleeps. Awesome riiiiight!!!

The abused – say emotional ,physically ,mentally and even spiritually. You may want to give up but your story is inspiration to another to learn from. Might be God’s will to let his will and name be glorified so keep tight .

Orphan’s, Street kids ,everyone whose in the art of service and those who’ve left us behind . I celebrate you too

This Christmas share the love of Christ that has been born in our hearts through his birth. Afterwards make merry with this in your hearts. And as it dawns … Happy birthday to me and Merry Christmas to you my lovely people

Broken Glass😯

I remember my first school was in an extremely competitive environment. In my whole 9 years , I think I got one award just one . I was used to being the dumbest kid in every class I was in, and then I went to another private school and suddenly I was the smartest kid in every class until I graduated .And I remember in both schools I got bullied . My first was … 🙀🙀🙀🙀 hell in itself . I was battling demons from every corner and I remember what got to me was comparison to my elder sister whose a braniac … A genius !!! I remember I had to feign being dumb and at one point and it got to me and I just flunked in all my classes

I got bullied when I was in grade II by some girl that lived in our estate at the time . She would literally wait for me when school ends and one would think we’re best buddies … And as much as I was really awe_y (cute) 😸😸😸😸 she still had the guts to bully  me . So home was a walk away ,she  would walk in by me . And on the way as it was norm , she would pinch and nudge me so roughly . We would get to her place and  she’d serve me porridge with no sugar and while I get to work she would get changed and comfortable swaying her legs while watching cartoons and she’d be like some colonist and every time I peeked a glance on one of my favourite cartoons she would wank me or curse out like I was some peasant …. Damn!!! And I did this for a while and keep in mind she threatened me and i was scared and couldn’t tell on her and from her place to mine I’d get  home and do my share of homework ,where my mom is waiting on her child and she’s mad because I’m late and then she’s sad because I look so worn out and all that. And the worse thing about it in my second school was it was a boarding school ,so the bully would constantly have her eyes on me … every single chance she wanted . And I remember I had ages of crying in my pillow second guessing my self if I was even meant to be alive and depression kicked in , my self esteem was in the gutter as well .

We later became besties with my bully after working through some kinks first . Then we fought over a boy 😁
Its been years now and though that was among my worst experience it shaped me to who I am now and I feel at times I don’t advocate for it as much as I should.But I hope through this I hope I reach someone . Theres an end and hope ,just hang in there .

The first time I actually stood up for myself … Felt so much like I’ve been in captivity for ages and I had finally been set free .Its not the same for everyone though and to some it may be extreme cases .

Help advocate for the bullied .😠😠😠😠😠.Create awareness.

About a girl👧

It was love at first sight as she walked over with her cousin in tow to say hi. She was so beautiful with how the shades of night complemented her skin colour, how the streetlights illuminated her smile ,how her braided hair moved in sync with her step, how her laughter echoed as if it was just me and her in our little bubble … How seductive she looked in those skinny jeans and the sweater top that ……
I loved how she wore ,how she walked, how she carried herself with an air of confidence and an ambience of class. But her pride wasn’t high enough so she was down to earth💋. I had fallen in love before we even shared a word or two .And I know she was it for me… My IT girl . I had never seen her getting cosy with any other man and I knew she was mine … For my eyes only .
She could stop the whole world when she walks in a room . I could only imagine how she would move with that body of hers on the dance floor.She was a tall glass of lemonade you couldn’t take at a go… She was too much to be consumed.
I had to snap out of my trance because she’d made it to where the guys and I were standing …. And she’d introduced herself and her cousin … Well she was pretty as well but her … She was it 💞. I didn’t get her name but I knew I could always ask around . I’ve seen her around for a while now and someone might know her . She smiled as my guy introduced himself … I look over to him and I’ve never seen him pull that stupid face before … Damn him!!! She was smiling back at him and to say the least it broke me. I didn’t get her name and now he’s getting the smile that should have been mine ….
I watch her as she prances away …. Again her cousin in tow and I wonder how they’re related … She’s onto another group and I could see why the men are eating her every word . Damn she’s pretty … One of her braided hair falls out of place and I feel like I should be the one to place back the stray hair not to obstruct her view or lest they bar those pretty angelic eyes. She dissapears again to help cause that’s what she does … I only hear her laughter amongst the crowd that surrounds her as she works and heals their invisible scars in service .
That night as we parted ways … As she crossed the road heading home ,with her cousin in tow … I wish I told her how much I love her… How much I’ve grown to love and as luck would have it that night she checked up on me.🙈

My bestfriend

The very first time we met she was in Jean shorts ,white vest ,lumber shirt and sneakers.That wasn’t actually how we met I just freezed the moment …. So you’d meet her too.

Her hair was natural ,held in a tight bun and I kinda wish I could run my hands through it. So the first time we met ,had to be by chance …… She was with her group of friends taking selfies … She was born for the camera .

She was vocal of the three . I couldn’t help overhear how the rest complained how she’d get them late with the million photos she’d taken that day . She just giggled and said she needed to take as many as possible and freeze that moment in a glass. Wise!

Then she called to me …. Yes ,like “hey do you want a picture with us ” And as I approached them …😁😁😁😁😁😁as she later confessed she wanted to run away .I wouldn’t have been surprised I hadn’t shaved for ages and I’ve never felt so ashamed for being laid back like this. Note to self … Shave this beard . As I approached the two photogenic ladies .. I could see them contemplating amongst themselves . She smiled and asked me to take the photo from my phone I had to frame this one … And yeah we exchanged numbers …. So that I could ” send her the pictures ” … Actually I owe her friend for nudging her to take my number instead of giving me hers but she was so daring she ringed me back 😉😉😉😋

That night she apped me and asked for the photos . she was so brief and I had to strike a conversation or I’ll never forgive myself . She had a witty sense of humour with a drop of sarcasm and her choice of words …. I fell in love ..

I didn’t tell her until months later as I apologised for my sudden hiatus . She took it well and was silent at first… Then we were back at being us. When we met next physically she’d gotten prettier and curvier and she was in a pair of jeans and a dark shade of vest … My colours escape me 😉😉😉

I skyved my classes to see her because this was when she was free. As she made her way to hug me …. I knew she wasn’t like the other girls I’ve met . Talking to her felt so right and easy as if I’d known her for ages … Her personality suited her . The way she threw her head back now in clean braided hair as she laughed.. I couldn’t believe she existed before we met,I’m sure I’d recognise this diamond in the presence of rhinestones.

Its been years now and we still strong and I still have urges to steal a kiss when we have our ritual sleepovers but I wouldn’t do that to her … She’s in love with her man . She’s so strong and independent but when she’s tired and she can’t carry the rest of the world on her shoulder… And she’s trying to let out all this emotions … I just hold her as she sobs until she falls asleep …. She looks so pretty when she sleeps and curls up like the most cutest baby . She’s got this smile on her face and as I turn away after making sure she’s warm enough and turning down the volume of the TV at my place . I wish my bestfriend was mine 😐.

Depression😠😠😠

Years and years of this would kill or slowly but definitely lead to death ,if no help is found. Its not something that can be easily seen like a symptom of a disease .Most of its victim go by daily just merely existing but once behind four walls they crumble to very infinite pieces . And usually its the tiny things that could trigger it .

I struggled with this for ages and I seriously wouldn’t get why some people were all content and jovial at all times. My parents thought it was teenage hormones & tantrums and thus termed it normal . I never shared with anyone and it ate me bit by bit , day in day out …

Nothing could save me I thought .I remember what hurt most for me then was how those closest to me never noticed anything …Sometimes you feel amazing about life and other times you just feel fat and depressed, so I think it’s good to be honest about that and to make light of it, I think humour is important, nobody’s perfect.

I got sent off to boarding school and it would deteriorate with me seeking silent places and just sitting there staring at nothing . Nothing mattered not even food or boys … I just existed

Most times that not … The victim’s life is sucked out of them. I got into the wrong crowd and I got myself a dashing man who charmed me off my feet and had weed and all that to keep us happy . I remembered just a puff of that made all of it just seem minor …. And in that moment I knew I was secure , happy for a while at the very least . The bottle became my friend and it would listen without interruptions and no judgement would come . My boyfriend you see, was happy he got a girl that was him in a female’s body …. Someone to compliment him and his party,rebel habits .

I admit he was awesome back then but now that I’ve been sober for ages thanks to God and my man. I still crave for those days that I was a meanie . Though I’d never go back there … Where I was just hollow ,barely living .

Its so sad that not much light is being shed on depression as much as cancer or any of this deadly disease ,whereas it claims more victims than most .

But if your there hun … Read this and let it be your mantra:
-God as evasive as He may sound his always there😁
-There are no problems that can’t be solved. The world is too full of options. If you can’t solve the #problem, it’s because you haven’t found the right option … But the answer is always there.

In my feelings

“Being alone and sitting with our own thoughts leads to actual growth and self realisations that are rare in our busy days ”

A night … Like this ( I’m tapping away at the most weird hours of the night ) I had a conversation with my sister on how its OK to cut certain people off and actually not feel bad or guilty about it .
‎
‎My 2 cents on the whole issue is if someone isn’t adding value to you; be it helping you to achieve sth , or just simply pushing you to be your ultimate best version of yourself , teaching you on anything even life’s simple lessons or showing you certain ways emotions should be portrayed then they ain’t worth keeping . This bunch is usually the easiest to cut off … The leeches that just want to be handed to but don’t care enough to work for it or don’t want to stretch the lending hand , they want to turn up but when its their turn they’re so damn broke … We all know this ones😁😁😁😁😼

Then there’s the bunch where you guys have been friends since childhood , highschool maybe or just the good old uni days … But you ain’t growing together … Towards the same goals rather or they’re just living their lives and the conversations lack that oomph they used to have …. They’re just dry and plainly boring…. Or they just keep coming when it suites them be it emergency or your just the pillar of sound advice and strength but if you’ve got your issues go sort them out yourself … Or some stupid excuses with no legs😭😭😭 … Then this are the tell tale signs you need to cut them off. It maybe hard at first but trust me over time you’ll feel better

Then theres family and those we love or fall in love with . If he ain’t making you feel good about being you … Or everyday its a constant battle on who to save and who to drown …. Cut 💇… You shouldn’t have to put yourself out there everytime for the thrash just to save your relationship … You need to love you first so the other person knows how to treat you (I’m not advocating for divorces but if he ain’t treating you right hunny or she ain’t giving you reasons to stay then just leave …..😒 )
That family member whose always binging on your couch , he said weeks and now its been a month … Yeah yeah … So blood is thicker than water … But you paying all the bills and he’s not making any move to come in and help … Cut .
Even the baby bird is pushed outside the nest so it could spread its wings and learn to fly .

Main point :Don’t let any human be the source of your joy or steal that shine from you … No ones worth your tears or thoughts that muddle in constant motion that lead to sleepless nights . No one!!! Sometimes we have friends and people in our lives that we don’t really need .

Be selfish . Its OK to be once in a while .

Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.

Technology

I love sharing my life with my followers on Instagram that is until some start judging😠 . Hopefully, they😴 are following me because there are some who genuinely want to know me. It’s a way to connect with different people who could be anywhere in the world that wasn’t available just a few years ago. And if you’re lucky you could make a few friends😁.

It was eons before I first saw my first coloured TV and when I did it was this one with a big behind and the computer as well 💻, and if you had one of this you were well off and you were a celebrity someone of importance and everyone fought to be your friend . If memory serves me correctly the first time my mom brought home the DVD ,that day was it for me . All my friends back at school ,the boujee ones all they talked about was all the movies they watched .So that day by far was my best I’d finally get to also boast of the movies I’ve watched . Among one of my first was Mr. Bones 😁😁😁😁yes people I’m that old.
My first phone was the one with buttons and even then you have to have slaved your way with your charms to get hand me downs from your folks or older siblings . Now this current millennia of kids know how to swipe 😕😕 .

Then the social wave hit …. Instagram ,twitter,Facebook,skype ,Snapchat and all that frenzy and some funny ones too , you name them ….. But hey we’ve got to give it some credit. Now you can connect with almost anyone across the globe with just the touch of a screen .

Now I can keep in touch with almost anyone from the future and rekindle past flames. Thanks to technology you get to stream all the movies ,you fancy and almost everything else that’s been uploaded. Whoooop! YouTube 😊☺

Best for you

happy

Sometimes it’s better to move on than to hold on to a person who doesn’t understand you. Sometimes your absence will teach what your presence cannot…
Hey you, Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn’t meant to work. You can’t force someone to care about you. You can’t force someone to be loyal. You can’t force someone to be the person you need them to be.
I’ll be real with you, sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re best without. You have got to understand some things are meant to happen, but just not meant to be. Some things are meant to come in your life, just not meant to stay.
Don’t lose yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken. You can’t get the relationship you need from someone who’s not ready to give it you. And I know it’s hard when your heart has labeled that person as someone you could spend forever with, but you just have to accept that they’re not that person anymore. And you might not understand WHY NOW, but I promise you your future will always bring understanding of why things didn’t work out.
BELIEVE ME
It is better to be alone and be happy than to be in a miserable relationship…
Whoever sees you as an option doesn’t deserve to be a priority in your life, you call him honey but he treats you like a monkey, He is your everything but you are nothing to him, you are doing everything to make it work, but he keeps thinking you are desperate and turns all your efforts to weakness…
Never be awake thinking about someone who is deeply sleeping with someone else.
Never stay a minute thinking about someone who can’t spend a second thinking about you.
Leave that person who takes your love for granted and doesn’t love you back the way you do,Love should be balanced not based one side.
Its better to be single than being in an ugly relationship that will make you cry forever.✌✌✌

I read this and I was like
Sensei teach me😍….
And I thought I’d share it here

What do I know

Marriage – a bond for life, and whether you’re gay or straight, it makes no difference to being married. What marriage stands for is that you love that person… You want to commit yourself to that person forever.💃

I believe in soulmates, yes, but I believe you also have to work at love. I happen to believe your soulmate doesn’t have to be your partner – your soulmate could be your best friend, your sibling, it doesn’t have to be the person you marry.👅

My parents have the most beautiful marriage ever …. They argue yes and on those  certain days they ain’t on the same page …. But that doesnt mean they ain’t a match made in heaven👼. Marriage for me is settling down with someone who gets you ,someone who wants you for you regardless of your flaws and don’t mistake a good marriage for the one that doesnt argue (infact its been proven that one that doesnt fight is in lack of something )or have complications once in a while . I mean just because you guys have become one in Christ doesnt mean you become merged in terms of personalities,thoughts and point of views.

He or she loved you or got attracted to you because you were different so don’t loose that spark that makes you, you . Mom and Dad have been together for ages and one time I asked both what’s the secret … … Mom was like I married my bestfriend
My dad being the cheesy romantic he is was like she’s still the girl of my dreams 💋….. Ps : if you met my dad he doesnt look like it 😼😸😸😸

So they still go on dates and my mom still blushes like a highschool girl when my dad throws some pickup lines that are so from the  80’s but you could still see the spark that’s igniting ,the love and most of all dedication to one another and I think that’s beautiful .

PS:HOLY Wives do not just speak in tongues they MANAGE their homes, make SUPER meals, raise GODLY kids, and finally, they bring out the KING in their man.

Rivals😒

If I could be good at any sport, it’d be javelin. I know a few people I would love to throw a spear at.😝😝😝😝😝
….. The term could be defined as a person with the same goal striving to attain the same thing . As a human girl even in the animal kingdom there’s so much of this …. And mostly this rivals were friends once …

When I was 5 I had a bestfriend whose named shall be withheld … She might be reading this blog and I’m so over grudges . But she was so real like the realest girls I’ve met in my whole existence .

So anyway back then I thought being bestfriends was just the gossip on almost everything ,talk on boys (that liked us or winked at us or we imagined it ….. But who cares ), the girls that (were so ‘bitchy’ and mean and didn’t let us play with their dolls cause they were new or they didn’t want us into their games) , music and if either of us got the move shakira and rihanna pulled on their new track …., Or the meanie grownups who’d pinch us cause we lacked manners according to them ….😔😔😔😔😔 …. We never lacked anything to talk about over food served at her place or mine . We weren’t boujee yet so no braiding of each others hair and painting nails.

Yes I knew about boys that early … The effect of the Casablanca movies we watched at that time 😋🙌. She was an year older than me …. So she was 6 …
Our friendship lasted until I turned 9 … So that’s 4 years later . when a new hunk moved in with his mother …. Next door 😱😜😜😜and he was gorgeous and was 10😍(perfect age for a boyfriend I thought silently )

My bestfriend has two brothers … One my elder sister’s age so totally off limits and one younger than us . My new crush had a bit younger brother and that was it …

So as kids you weren’t into choosing whose who but at that point my eye had chosen him . Little did I know that the bevy of girls that used to hang out with us had also chosen him … Including my bestie and he was the one in charge😣😣😣😣

Luckily and fortunately he enrolled in my school so we had much time to bond and I remember he’d carry my bag home ,help me with my homework , defend me from his friends and bullies and he’d catch the daily soaps with me if time allowed … While we waited on the mom to get home … Or when we felt like it was bestfriend’s time 😍😍😍

This play pretend game … He always picked me to be the wife or he wouldn’t play if his demands weren’t met. This should have been the first warning sign but silly me I didn’t see it!!! I remember we even got married every single day 😝😝😝😝😝 …. Days after during one of our extensive school holidays my bestfriend hinted on having a crush on smn in our group …. And he later she said that she liked him very much

As a true bestfriend I had to steer clear of him but issue is this dude was in my school … And she wasn’t and he was always doing this little deeds for me like waiting on me after school was over or always sitting on our table when it was lunch …. He didn’t mind my crowd.

I wouldn’t betray my girl like that so I started evading him. I would make it home either earlier or stay late to finish my homework . I never went out to play . I asked mom to get the door and she’d come up with most ridiculous reasons why I can’t go out . I hadn’t anticipated the 10 year old dude to get creative … It started with the letters and flowers by our door … My mom back then thought he was cute and so he’d let him in to ‘tutor’ me from time to time …..

 

My bestfriend was by far not pleased and I ask my boyfriend 😘😘😘😝😝😝😝😝to settle the score … Can you believe she tried to fight me for a man
.. boy rather but oh well you get it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and it kinda hurt because :
I) We took vows no man would come between us .
II) we have been besties since we could talk and walk and sway the little bums in those hideous pink dresses.
III ) we were the ‘IT’ bestfriend couple … Guys wanted to be us and if we happen to pop in your party you were blessed and of importance 💪😼#BFFgoals
IV) we were ruthless together… Nothing could defeat us
V) she knew all my secrets and they weren’t pretty !!!

After a long period of rivalry and bae wasn’t making it simple with the little love scenes he was pulling .Damn we even went to church together and he’d insist to sit next to me 😜🙈🙈🙈🙈
She was mean to me a couple of times and tried to catch me offguard to mark me with her wrath … But prince charming was always around. We decided to call it truce when she found another muse😕 … But I have to admit in all my eons in this life . .. She was my hugest nemesis …..😜😋